[Enneagram Type 2, the Helper] Type 2 in Love and Relationships: Sources of Attraction and Conflict

The discomfort that arises when things do not go my way

When there is no one around, why are we so afraid of being alone? We want love and attention, yet feel anxious because how to obtain them is not always clear. This conflict tends to be especially intense for people of Type 2, the 'Helper.' People of Type 2 desperately want to be loved, while fearing that the opposite situation will become reality.

How you can become someone who is loved

Type 2's core need is to be loved. This means receiving more love and attention from others. Yet this need can sometimes take a negative direction. For example, they may try to help others while putting their own needs aside.

The conflicts Type 2 experiences in romantic relationships

Because people of Type 2 are preoccupied with affection and devotion, they try to increase the amount of love they receive from their partner, and consequently struggle to meet their own needs in the relationship. While wanting love, they also fear that something will go wrong, which can make maintaining the relationship difficult.

For example, you may think about what kind of devotion your partner should show you and, as a result, feel as though you are not loved. You want to express your feelings to your partner and want your partner to receive your love, too. Yet when you do not receive love, you may feel like someone who is unloved and struggle to meet your needs in the relationship.

Advice for growth: understanding your own feelings and needs

For people of Type 2, practicing understanding and expressing their own feelings and needs, as well as attending to other people's needs, can be helpful. This does not mean their basic type changes into Type 4.

Growth tips for Type 2

• Respect yourself and focus on meeting your needs.
• Believe that you can be loved.
• Understand your own feelings and express them to others.

Finally...

If you are Type 2, you desperately want to be loved. Believe that you can be loved. Find a way to become someone who is loved, and put it into practice.